Some replied anonymously while others were happy to be named.

We messaged some gay men over 50 and asked them about things they wished they’d known earlier about love, life, sex, and relationships. I think intergenerational friendships and opportunities for mentoring could be incredibly valuable and enriching.” Although there are more role models for younger gay folks now, I’d encourage younger gay men to reach out to older gay men and to ask questions about their life experiences and relationships. “At the time, there were no role models in the media and I was coming out during the AIDS crisis. “What I wish would have been available to me when I was 20, was the opportunity to speak with someone who had experienced what I was experiencing as I was coming out,” says Jeff Levy, a gay, Chicago-based psychotherapist.

Advice from those that have struggled with the same things may help or give a different perspective. Things are better for young queer or gay men coming to terms with their sexuality these days compared to the past, but that doesn’t mean they’re perfect.